Tag Archives: Frozen

Weekend Reading List: Werewolf heroes, Wakandan heroes

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Terrifyingly specific search terms from people who were probably disappointed with my blog, Part I

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They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

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And never the twain shall meet

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Rooting for specific relationships happens to be one of my favourite pastimes, and the more absurd and unlikely the better. In fact, if they exist in totally different worlds, that’s ideal. They’ll never meet, and there will never be an opportunity for writers/producers/actors to botch the job and disappoint me. No one will betray their true love, bad dialogue will never ruin the moment, and people won’t die right when things are at their best (looking at you, Whedon). Their love will stay safe and perfect in my brain, where it belongs.

So in honour of all the one-night hookups and epic love stories that will never be—crackships, if you will—here are some of my favourites. (Obvious spoiler warning is obvious.)

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Like anyone else would suffer them (by justinripley.tumblr.com)

1. Joffrey Lannister and Draco Malfoy

Aside from the aesthetics, aren’t these two a match made in heaven? Annoying, evil, privileged, and spoiled, it just all fits. And sure, Draco ends up reformed and Joffrey ends up dead (thank GOD), but had they met, maybe they would have softened each other’s edges? After a tumultuous (and hot) beginning, they might have given each other the love and support they needed to become just that little bit kinder? Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but at the very least, if they’re busy getting their rocks off with one another, it means they’re leaving the rest of us alone.

 

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Let me clutch this book to my breast as if it were you

2. Rory Gilmore and Hermione Granger

Indulge this grown-up eager-beaver bookworm for a moment. Wouldn’t it be amazing to see these two together? Academic rivals, constantly pushing each other to excel, sniping at each other with vocabularies no one else can understand, forced to work together on some class project, late nights, ink smudges, library stacks… This stuff writes itself. Hermione needs someone on her level, and Rory’s relationship with Paris has shown that she has a great give and take with someone as focused and dedicated to hard work as she is.

 

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Cool. (By Kazeki)

3. Frozen‘s Elsa and Jack Frost

LONG LIVE THE ICE QUEEN AND KING. I don’t care that Rise of the Guardians was actually a pretty mediocre movie. (It had its moments. Russian Santa Claus using famous composers instead of cuss words? Rachmaninoffing amazing.) I don’t care that Elsa is being hailed as a metaphor for queer sexuality. Jack Frost is a cutie, and Elsa deserves someone who can actually snuggle up to her at night. Besides, “the cold never bothered me anyway” is a great pickup line.

 

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Is that a codpiece or are you just happy to see me?

4. Eowyn and Brienne of Tarth

Marginalized lady fighters finding solace and acceptance in each other’s arms is possibly my favourite story that I’ve never actually seen. I lovelovelove Faramir (and I’m more than a little attached to the idea of Brienne and Sansa ending up together) but come on how perfect would Eowyn/Brienne be? Think of the sparring montages! The post-battle bandaging! They are so perfect for one another it hurts. They look amazing as a pair, and they even have the same dramatic helmet removal down pat.

 

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Beep beep and vworp vworp indeed

 5. The TARDIS and the Magic School Bus

Because why the hell not. The TARDIS is sexy and the Magic School Bus has a great sense of humour. Done. OTP.

(Also River Song is totally a young Ms. Frizzle, so this one isn’t even that improbable.)

 

Top image: The meme’s original art is from Hyperbole and a Half, by the fantastic Allie Brosh

 

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Weekend Reading List: Ghibli girls and warrior women

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Weekend Reading List: Zombie love, elf love

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Weekend Reading List: A is for Astronauts, B is for Bow ties

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Top image: “Alchemic Emprise,” Joshua Mays

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Weekend Reading List: Sylvan elves and sisterly love

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Weekend Reading List: Fan Fiction and Fridging Rue

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Image from bluemonkeywriting.tumblr.com

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Weekend Reading List: Boys Clubs and Brain Scoops

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Image: “Girl with Balloon,” Banksy.

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Upcoming Disney movie leaves me chilled

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Disney’s Frozen, their take on the Hans Christian Andersen tale “The Snow Queen,” will probably be disappointing. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to love about it. It’s a movie with a female lead, and at least one other major female character. There’s an all star cast that includes Kristen Bell, Alan Tudyk, and Idina Menzell. It’s set in an unnamed Nordic country, which is something we’ve never seen before, and, in an interview with MTV Geek, Bell, who voices the protagonist, says she “made this girl much more relatable and weirder and scrappier” than previous female Disney leads. All of this is great.

But here’s some context: the original story follows Gerda, a girl who goes on a cold journey to rescue her (male) friend Kai from the titular Ice Queen. It’s a pretty great reversal of the damsel in distress narrative but, so far, it looks like the movie, out this November, will have nothing to do with the original tale. Not only is Gerda (now named Anna) saving her sister, who is the Ice Queen, she’s also not making the trip solo. This time, she’ll be accompanied by Kristoff, a mountain man. Kristoff, incidentally, is one of two male characters who are almost sure to act as romantic interests.

Hanna White over at Bitch gives a pretty good explanation of why these changes are so worrisome:

“It’s disappointing to see a story that was originally about a deeply independent and brave young woman on a rescue mission turned into a romance, as it inevitably will be. No one at Disney has inferred that a romantic relationship between Anna and Kristoff will be part of the movie, but romantic love is central to almost every Disney princess’s story—and besides, why else add the character of Kristoff in the first place? Even if they don’t fall in love, and he merely acts as Anna’s guide, the fact that she needs one at all reproduces stereotypes about female weakness and the need for a strong male helper that the original narrative of ‘The Snow Queen’ bucks.”

The presence of deeply entrenched gender norms, however, isn’t this film’s only potential failing. Once again, the “princess” (and they always seem to end up being princesses regardless of actual royal affiliation) will be white. Keep in mind that Frozen will be set in an area of the world that is home to many indigenous cultures, among them the Inuit and the Sami. In fact, Mike Gaimo, the film’s art director, directly says that one of his many inspirations for the film was the Sami people. Aside from the fact that it’s extraordinarily disrespectful to lump an entire culture into a listicle that features such points of interest as “castles” and “snow,” it seems strange that the Sami would inspire a world that, so far, seems entirely populated by white characters.

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Their whiteness is so blinding it’s making her cross-eyed.

This is a huge missed opportunity for Disney who, besides the fact that they’ve basically made a carbon-copy of Rapunzel, seem fiercely committed to having as few princesses of colour as possible. This hasn’t gone unnoticed by fans, and among quite a lot of backlash, a tumblr named Snow Queens and PoC has taken on the task of reimagining what the movie might have looked like had a woman of colour been chosen. The tumblr—often featuring a protagonist who is either Inuit or Sami, but also sometimes Mongolian or Kazakh, among others—features some great art, but has also managed to start a conversation around the film, and about Disney’s overall track record. I can’t help thinking that any of the proposed character designs would make for a more creative and compelling film, and with so many amazing alternatives available, it’s hard to warm up to the story that Disney is actually proposing.

Top image by Rah at weepingrockrock.tumblr.com, via Snow Queens and PoC.

P.S. Get used to the pun in the title, puns are here to stay.

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