Like you’ve never had a crush on a cartoon.
1. Korra, Legend of Korra
I’m not saying I want to break up Korra and Asami, but I feel in my heart that I also deserve adventures in the Spirit World.
Perks: I would never be mugged (have you seen those guns). I’d get to explore the Spirit World with someone who’s fun, and super enthusiastic. I’d adopt a polar bear dog. I’d get to be friends with Bolin. I bet you anything Bolin gives the best hugs.
Potential obstacles: Dating the avatar is maybe not the most restful thing. Also see above re: Asami.
2. Robin Hood, Robin Hood
Perks: At the forefront of the class revolution. Enjoys camping. Make your own foxy pun, I’m not going to do everything for you.
Potential obstacles: Seems pretty into hanging with Maid Marian and/or Little John. Being wanted by the law would make going out to dinner a little difficult.
3. San, Princess Mononoke
Ashataki’s great and all, don’t get me wrong, but he’s far too attached to the human world for San. I, on the other hand, am more than willing to abandon humanity for the adoptive child of wolf spirits.
Perks: Would never be clingy. Hangs out with giant, rideable wolves. Environmentalist.
Potential obstacles: Pretty grumpy. Probably wouldn’t jibe with my vegetarian diet.
4. Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, X-Men Evolution
Most of the teenaged X-Men were pretty crush-worthy, but Kurt is a teleporting cutie pie and I’m putting him on the list. Try to stop me.
Perks: He’s basically the class clown you crushed on in high school, but also a superhero. And he can poof you anywhere.
Potential obstacles: Quite a lot of angst stemming from his appearance and mysterious heritage. Understandable, but might make a relationship difficult.
5. Ms. Frizzle, The Magic School Bus
Everyone’s favourite teacher would probably be just as exciting and inspiring outside the classroom, and I’m totally commandeering the school bus for dates.
Perks: Takes chances, makes mistakes, gets messy.
Potential obstacles: Probably a bit of a workaholic. Doesn’t acknowledge the danger she exposes herself and the children in her care to.
6. Cyborg, Teen Titans
Half man, half machine, all cuddles.
Perks: Would upgrade everything in my home. Would only beat me at video games 80% of the time. Super strong shoulders perfect for sitting on at a concert.
Potential obstacles: He’s got a lot of roommates. A little high strung.
7. Garnet, Steven Universe
Guys. Guys. It’s Garnet. She’s perfect.
Perks: Cool, calm, collected. Confident but kind. Forward-looking but caring. Badass gauntlets.
Potential obstacles: As the physical embodiment of perfect love, she probably doesn’t need me.
8. Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Potential obstacles: Pretty devoted to her husband, tbh. Not bad, but drawn that way.
9. The Baron, The Cat Returns
JUST IGNORE THAT THIS IS THE SECOND ANIMAL ON THIS LIST.
Perks: Dapper as shit. Mannered, refined, will help you escape the Cat Kingdom.
Potential obstacles: Is a tiny enchanted ceramic cat.
10. Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Moon
Tall Amazon of your dreams who’s endlessly loyal and cooks like a dream? Sign me up.
Perks: All of the above. Values her friendships. Harnesses the powers of lightning.
Potential obstacles: Scarred from past relationships, duty bound to protect the moon princess instead of going skating with you.