Weekend Reading List: Jedis, jump scares, and JK Rowling’s approval

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Happy New Year!

Image by Tara H. [doodlesbytara.tumblr.com]

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Terrifyingly specific search terms from people who were probably disappointed with my blog, Part I

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They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

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Weekend Reading List: Sequels and Sorceresses

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Weekend Reading List: comics, climate, and calling out abuse

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Image from Demon Street, by Aliza Layne

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Weekend Reading List: Jessica Jones, Jessica Rabbit, and some other stuff

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Hey kids, it’s been a while so there’s lots of good reading here for you:

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Animated characters I unapologetically want to go out on dates with

Like you’ve never had a crush on a cartoon.

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1. Korra, Legend of Korra

I’m not saying I want to break up Korra and Asami, but I feel in my heart that I also deserve adventures in the Spirit World.

Perks: I would never be mugged (have you seen those guns). I’d get to explore the Spirit World with someone who’s fun, and super enthusiastic. I’d adopt a polar bear dog. I’d get to be friends with Bolin. I bet you anything Bolin gives the best hugs.

Potential obstacles: Dating the avatar is maybe not the most restful thing. Also see above re: Asami.

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2. Robin Hood, Robin Hood

I am not the only person who thinks this.

Perks: At the forefront of the class revolution. Enjoys camping. Make your own foxy pun, I’m not going to do everything for you.

Potential obstacles: Seems pretty into hanging with Maid Marian and/or Little John. Being wanted by the law would make going out to dinner a little difficult.

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3. San, Princess Mononoke

Ashataki’s great and all, don’t get me wrong, but he’s far too attached to the human world for San. I, on the other hand, am more than willing to abandon humanity for the adoptive child of wolf spirits.

Perks: Would never be clingy. Hangs out with giant, rideable wolves. Environmentalist.

Potential obstacles: Pretty grumpy. Probably wouldn’t jibe with my vegetarian diet.

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4. Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, X-Men Evolution

Most of the teenaged X-Men were pretty crush-worthy, but Kurt is a teleporting cutie pie and I’m putting him on the list. Try to stop me.

Perks: He’s basically the class clown you crushed on in high school, but also a superhero. And he can poof you anywhere.

Potential obstacles: Quite a lot of angst stemming from his appearance and mysterious heritage. Understandable, but might make a relationship difficult.

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5. Ms. Frizzle, The Magic School Bus

Everyone’s favourite teacher would probably be just as exciting and inspiring outside the classroom, and I’m totally commandeering the school bus for dates.

Perks: Takes chances, makes mistakes, gets messy.

Potential obstacles: Probably a bit of a workaholic. Doesn’t acknowledge the danger she exposes herself and the children in her care to.

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6. Cyborg, Teen Titans

Half man, half machine, all cuddles.

Perks: Would upgrade everything in my home. Would only beat me at video games 80% of the time. Super strong shoulders perfect for sitting on at a concert.

Potential obstacles: He’s got a lot of roommates. A little high strung.

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7. Garnet, Steven Universe

Guys. Guys. It’s Garnet. She’s perfect.

Perks: Cool, calm, collected. Confident but kind. Forward-looking but caring. Badass gauntlets.

Potential obstacles: As the physical embodiment of perfect love, she probably doesn’t need me.

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8. Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Because damn.

Perks: Damn.

Potential obstacles: Pretty devoted to her husband, tbh. Not bad, but drawn that way.

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9. The Baron, The Cat Returns

JUST IGNORE THAT THIS IS THE SECOND ANIMAL ON THIS LIST.

Perks: Dapper as shit. Mannered, refined, will help you escape the Cat Kingdom.

Potential obstacles: Is a tiny enchanted ceramic cat.

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10. Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Moon

Tall Amazon of your dreams who’s endlessly loyal and cooks like a dream? Sign me up.

Perks: All of the above. Values her friendships. Harnesses the powers of lightning.

Potential obstacles: Scarred from past relationships, duty bound to protect the moon princess instead of going skating with you.

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Weekend Reading List: Bond girls, fan girls, magical girls

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Weekend Reading List: Happy halloween!

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The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Horror Films: FAMILY WILL KILL YOU

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Alright, so we’ve already seen how people who are supposed to be benevolent, pure, and unthreatening—like women and children—are the fertile ground from which springs some of the best horror, or at least the horror that messes with our preconceptions and taboos in the most interesting ways. But what about family? How does the genre deal with a social space that is, at least in theory, supposed to offer comfort, safety, and unqualified love? Let’s look at a few examples of what happens when the people who know us best, and are meant to protect us, are the source of the horror, when ostensibly unshakeable biological bonds get twisted, perverted, and subverted.

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A Tale of Two Sisters

Kim Jee-woon, 2003

The story: Su-mi is institutionalized and being treated for shock, but quickly returns to her father’s home with her sister Su-yeon. The house is secluded, and tensions run high between Su-mi and her stepmother. In the meantime Su-yeon has visions, and develops bruises on her arms. Strange things keep happening, and the father blames Su-mi’s return. But nothing is at it seems, and the mystery surrounding the girls’ deceased mother might play a part in the strange occurrences that haunt the family.

Why you should watch it: If you like mind-benders that stay mysterious right up until the end, you’ll love this (it is actually very hard to write a summary without giving everything away). You’re never sure exactly what’s happening, who’s at fault, or where the threatening sense of foreboding is coming from. There’s a touch of body horror and teenaged sexuality is briefly used to make everything that much creepier. The film is lush and full of rich, saturated colours, and there’s a lot of fun visual symbolism to explore.

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Santa Sangre

Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1990

The story: Fenix is a young boy growing up in a circus. His father runs it and performs as a knife thrower, while his mother Concha uses the flying trapeze when she’s not running her new religion, the Santa Sangre Church (devotees of which worship a girl whose arms were cut off by her rapists). When Concha finds out that her husband is cheating on her with the circus’s tattooed woman, a violent altercation ensues that scars Fenix so badly he has to be institutionalized. Years later, he escapes.

Why you should watch it: If you’re at all familiar with cult-favourite Jodorowsky, you know what you’re getting yourself into. This crazy, fascinating mess of stunted emotions, fear of sexuality, trauma, murder, and mommy and daddy issues is complex, uncomfortable, and very, very compelling. The circus setting lends some really interesting visuals to the movie, and like A Tale of Two Sisters, mixing parents, death, and abuse all together is a sure-fire way of creating a sinister as shit story.

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Ginger Snaps

John Fawcett, 2000

The story: Sisters Ginger and Brigitte are social outcasts who look down on everyone at school, have only each other as friends, and spend their time putting together morbid photo shoots, with themselves as the grisly murder victims. They’re incredibly close until one night when Ginger gets bitten by a strange animal in the woods. Soon after, her moods and body begin changing. The adults are dismissive, believing that Ginger is just becoming an adult, but Brigitte knows better.

Why you should watch it: There’s no way in hell I’m not going to recommend a movie that uses lycanthropy as a metaphor for female puberty, and you know this by now. Ginger Snaps is campy, and low-budget, and so much fun. The interplay between the sisters is super compelling, regardless of whether they’re loyal best friends or pitted against each other. This film, for all its silliness, is an amazing portrayal of the risks of growing up into a woman and dealing with the fraught topics of desire, adulthood, sex, and abandonment.

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Coraline

Henry Selick, 2009

The story: Only child Coraline moves with her parents to the Pink Palace Apartments, an old house divided into three dwellings. With her parents occupied with the move and working to make ends meet, Coraline begins to feel neglected. While exploring, she finds a small door that leads into the Other World, where she finds her Other Mother and Other Father. They present her with an idealized version of her life and she begins to like it more than her own reality. Things take a dark turn, however, when she refuses to stay there forever.

Why you should watch it: Hey look, it’s our first kid movie! Don’t let that put you off, though, Coraline is plenty unsettling. You see, the reason Coraline doesn’t want to stay in Other World is that she has to agree to have buttons sewn into her eyes. Yeah, you read that right, this is based on a Neil Gaiman book after all. The film is made using beautiful stop motion, and the character design, colours, and subtle differences between reality and Other World are all great.

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Weekend Reading List: Ghosts, ghouls, and gays

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