Dark Willow | unfridged

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Dark Willow would turn all Russian cinema into hard core gay bondage porn.
Dark Willow would leave all UK immigration workers in a labyrinthine, Kafkaesque, bureaucratic mind-prison forever.
Dark Willow would dump all soccer hooligans, naked, in the middle of Pride.
Death by stoning? Sounds like a party.
Dark Willow would find the bastards to attacked two trans* women in the subway, beating them and stripping them, along with all the people who watched and did nothing (and cheered), and recreate the scene exactly for them, because it’s horrifying enough on its own.
Dark Willow would start a reverse Spanish inquisition, complete with terrified members of the Catholic church and sadistic lesbian satanists.
Dark Willow would drown asshole Texas judges in a sea of placenta and birth certificates.
Dark Willow would make Straight Conversion Therapy a thing.
Dark Willow would make Rick Perry addicted to all the things.
Soul-crushing life in prison sentences for everyone.
Acid baths for everyone.

Abracadabrabitches

Dark Willow would make the Olympic torch blow up in Putin’s face.
Dark Willow would make hateful picket signs bludgeon the Westboro Baptist Church to death.
Dark Willow would make Arizona legislators sit in a dark room, watching the same Leave it to Beaver episode on loop for all eternity, Clockwork Orange-style, since they like the 1950s so much.
Dark Willow would put all claustrophobic bigots in closets for years, see how they like it.
Dark Willow would deny any involvement in the mysterious disappearances of Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni and the entire Red Pepper editorial board.
Dark Willow would bury Cecil Chao in 6,500,000,000 pennies.
Dark Willow would cross over to the Firefly universe, find Jayne, and shoot him with Vera.
Dark Willow would reanimate Cece MacDonald‘s attacker, just to flay him. (Staying on brand, you know?)
Dark Willow would shove a microphone down Rush Limbaugh’s throat. Or a basketball. She’s not picky.
Dark Willow would stick her hands into her laptop, track down hacker douchebags, and short their circuits.

unfridged